Yoda Short Green Troll or Jedi master?
by ExpressoChick10
Summary: yoda and Obi-Wan make a bet....


Yoda: Jedi Master or Short Green Muppet

You know this whole thing is not my fault, But as my master says "Be mindful of the living force, my young Padwan". Just for the record I am not a kid. I am nearly 15 and I should get a little more respect…but my master thinks other wise. Oh, I forgot to tell you my name…It's Obi-Wan not Obi not Kid just Obi-Wan. And my master's name is Qui-Gon. I am a Jedi…in training. You see to become a Jedi you have to train in the Jedi temple for many years finally when you turn 13 you get a chance to have a Master. I almost didn't have one but that's another story. Well, like I said before this whole thing isn't my fault. But I'm getting a head of my self. It all began when Yoda Qui-Gon and I went to the training room to watch the next duel. "Mace will kick Adi Gallia's butt" I heard Yoda mutter, "Master I have to disagree I think that Adi Gallia will win" I said hoping that Qui-Gon wouldn't give me another lecture on being polite. "Put mouth where money is"

Yoda replayed. "Fine I will lets say you take me to Jedi World (a theme park) if she wins" I said praying that Qui-Gon wouldn't give me another lecture about gambling "Okay but If she lose you be taking me to get new shoes" the Jedi Master said. "Shhh the Duel is about to start" My Master said giving me a look that said I'm going to get a lecture about being quite on top of the other ones. 

A Hour Later…….

I can't believe it Master Adi Gallia Lost! It was so close! Crap now I have to take Yoda Shoe shopping. You haven't heard about Yoda and his shoe problem…well take my advice NEVER go shoe shopping with Yoda. Why? You'll find out soon enough. I've got to go Qui-Gon calling me probably to give me a lecture or two. 

The Next Day

"Up you must wake" I heard a familiar voice say as I glanced at the time piece to see what time it was, 5:00AM!, Wait this must be a joke …Why is Yoda going through my dresser? AAAAA "I'm coming get out of my room please" was all I managed to say. "Get your padwan up sooner" I heard Yoda tell my master as went to the kitchen I heard Qui-Gon chuckle as he followed the Jedi Master. I quickly got dressed and went out to see Yoda. "Master Yoda" I said as I entered the kitchen. "What lazy bones?" He said. "The stores don't open for another two hours" My master then tossed me a breakfast bar. "Think me stupid do you? Qui-Gon is a slow driver and I want to give him enough time." Yoda said with a smirk on his face. Qui-Gon eyes where about to pop out of

his head "What? This was my padwan bet not mine I already took you two years ago." He said as he stood up. "Your padwan he is go with us you will…it is the way of the force." The little green Muppett said as I went to help my master back to his chair. My Master then gave me a look told me that I was going to be cleaning the refresher with a tooth brush and be polishing his boots for the next few weeks. 

A Hour and a half later

After Mediating for a while we left. The traffic was bad but that was the least of our worries. First we went to "Shoes R US", as soon as we got in Yoda was already using mind tricks on the staff. They must remember Yoda or else we wouldn't have had to use mind tricks just to get in let alone look around. After looking around a few minutes a pretty Twi'lek came to help us. "Hello, do you need any help?" She asked. "Yes," Qui-Gon said noticing her eye lashes fluttering his way, Just then Yoda whacked Qui-Gon with his grimmer stick, "No We are fine thank you anyway" Yoda said. At this point I had to use the force to keep from laughing at Qui-Gon and feeling sick from they way that Twi'lek was looking at him. We finally found some berkenstocks (The only shoes Yoda will where) he found some that fit perfectly but…the price was a little…high. "I could feed my family for a year for what the cost of this" "Why don't you look over here" "DO you think I am just a short green troll? I know what I want and those what do you call them…Sneakers aren't fit for a Jedi master." I went over to a bench and started to talk to another young girl. "What are you in for?" I asked her. "Oh I'm getting some shoes for my prom. What do you think?" She asked. "Oh I really don't know.." I said trying to avoid giving a straight answer. "Hey, I know   you….your one of Bant's friends aren't you?" "Ummm...Yeah you know her?" "Oh me and her are pretty good friends from what she says you are too" "What's your Name?" I asked "Oh how rude of me I'm Sarah your Obi-Wan right?" She said flipping  her blond hair to her shoulder. I then glanced at my master and noticed that Yoda was yelling and shaking his grimmer stick at Qui-Gon and some of the staff. "Listen I've got to go…It was nice meeting you" I said as I started to make my quick exit. "It was nice meeting you too and Bant is right you are cute" She said as she l left to find her mother. What did she say? Bant would never…well at least I think so…Oh no, Yoda is being shoved out of the store by police...That's not good.  I then followed Qui-Gon into the Hover Car. "Hmmm…Staff rude…" I heard Yoda mumbled as I strapped him in the car seat. "I wish you were taller so I wouldn't have to tell every one you are my grandchild." I heard My master mumble. At this point I decided to turn on the radio. Well, I switched it to the station I normally listen to ..bad idea they decided to play the only bad song by N&N about a Jedi gone wrong and killing his master…Bad Bad idea.. "What the heck is this?" My master said as he looked at me I then decided to turn it to His favorite station. "Hello this is your favorites from the past" the host said. "Well, be at the shoe castle until lunch come out and see "Sithspit" Live in concert. The co-host added. "Where are we going next?" I asked my master praying that we were not going there. "You'll see" he said with this twinkle in his eye that scared me …

 A hour later… 

This is just as I thought…I hate "Sithspit" they are really old…Okay not that old but you get my drift. "Master..Why?" I asked "Well padwan there are times in life when you should just follow me and not say anything" Okay….Yeah that's my master all right I decided to spite my master and put Yoda in the stroller. But to my luck I didn't see The band there turns out they already had left. As we got in the store a sales lady came up to us. "What a …cute…baby." She said trying to coax up into buying something. Yoda then took his grimmer stick and warped Qui-Gon and told him "Go faster you will my grandma faster then the likes of you" 

Two hours later….

We found a shoe that he liked. And after we finally got to the counter the Sales person rung us up and Qui-Gon asked me to go out to the car. I wonder why…Actually I don't care as long as we  can get back to the temple…I'm starving. We they got to the car I noticed that Yoda had a balloon. I decided not to ask till we got back…Wait why are we stopping here...this is …crap this is the radio station…Qui-Gon is going to complain about them lying about having "Sithspit" there. We entered the building having Yoda in the stroller again. I quite think he likes to be pulled around and have people think he is young again. We walked over to the front desk, "Hello? May I help you?" the pretty humanoid asked. "Well…I was listening earlier and they said that the group "Sithspit" were going to be playing live at "The Shoe Castle". We went and They were not there." Qui-Gon said giving her a look that made me sick. "Oh, they backed out at the last minute and the DJ didn't read the memo. But I can give you a tape of them in concert from two years ago." She replied. "Sure, Thank you" My master said giving her a sly grin. "you're welcome" She said as she went to a  back room. "Stupid you are hussy she is." A voice said from underneath a lot of blankets. What my master did then surprised me he pushed the stroller back making it roll all the way down the hall. "Boy.." My master said "I know Attila" I said Why do I have to always fix anything he does wrong. I remember asking him that before he said "I am your Master you willdo as I say without question" That's when I started to call him Attilla. I ran down the hall and caught the stroller with the force right before it hit the wall. "Thank you I must" I heard Yoda say. I removed some of the blankets so he could move and headed back to the lobby. When I got there I say My Master Talking to that …. Hussy. "Master, Its time to go" I said trying to keep Yoda in the stroller. "Go, I'll be there in a minute" He said.I did as I was told and headed out to the car. 

10 Minutes later.

"Master What took you so long?" I asked as he got in the car. "Oh…..Nothing" He said. We started home.."I'm Hungry" I said even though I was starving. "I gave you a lollipop an hour ago. You  can wait" he said "Master, Yoda ate it!" I said then waiting for that little green troll to make some smart remark. Much to my surprise he didn't. I looked to make sure he was still 

there, and saw him sleeping. "Master Yoda is sleeping" I whispered. I started to get bored and decided to look at the veido case. Funny I found a phone number attached. I Then it struck me and I became sick once more. I looked up at my master and noticed some pink on his collar. "Master what that on your collar?" I asked trying to be annoying. "That, my padwan, is none of your business. Would you like a Gungan Burger?" He said trying to change the subject. "how about two?" I asked "Don't push it" he said as we pulled up into the Fast Food restraint I heard a filmilar voice. "DO you want to join us?" a young girl asked Qui-Gon. Why Me? I mean I'm good ..most of the time I don't need to be grossed out by my master more then 4 times a day. "Sorry, I cant not Yoda's sleeping and I need to get this boy back" My master said which offended me "I am not a BOY" I yelled. "Now just for that you don't get a burger" he said as we pulled out of the parking lot. 

A hour later…

We finally arrived home. And we were going to put Yoda to his room when he woke up and wanted us to sit and meditate with him…..Man twice in one day but I agreed since he's Yoda and all of that I mean come on what kinda name is Yoda? Well, anyhow…. 

30 minutes later

"Why do you have such a problem with shopping for shoes?" my master asked.  "Old age take away cool shoes what next old age going to take away?" he replied. Just then my master got this queer look on his face and got a pin from the sewing kit. All of a sudden POP. My master popped Yoda balloon. But the little green guy didn't seem to notice. "I think we'll go back to the

shoe castle next year" I heard Yoda mummer. Qui-Gon must have heard it too because he started yelling "You can't go back. They made us swear not to" "They do that every year" A small Yoda said "In blood?" Qui-Gon asked holding out a finger with a bandage. That's why they had to stay. HAHAHAHAHAHA "What happened to my balloon?" Yoda asked looking at where it used to be. "I

don't know" I said trying my best to be sympathetic. "Come on padwan we have to get back" Qui-Gon said trying not to laugh. "Yes, Master." I said and waved to Yoda but he was already asleep.

As soon as we got back to our room, I had to make a deal with Qui-Gon. I will never gamble and never tell Yoda about some of what happened. And He wouldn't make me scrub the floor of the refresher with a tooth brush. Well I'm tired.

-Obi-Wan Kenobi


End file.
